GPS told me I was in a rut

I have a job that I love.  For the first time in my life, I have a job that I love.  The work that I do is important and serves a greater purpose than myself.  Which is the reason that I typically eat lunch at my desk every day.  I have never done that at a job before.  I always wanted my “away” time.  I have found that I like working while I eat.  However, I am an introvert at heart and I need regular solitude to maintain my sanity.  So, once a week, I make myself leave my desk and go grab something for lunch.  Typically, this is just something I get in a drive thru, park under a shade tree and watch a bit of a movie that I’ve downloaded on my phone. My perfect introverted lunch.

This past Thursday, I went out to my car and picked up my phone and there it was.  My friendly GPS that predictably tells me my commute time to work every morning, and home every evening.  That day, it said “7 minutes to Taco Bell”.  Well, there it was.  I had done the same thing enough on Thursday each week that GPS knows where I go for lunch.  Really? Am I that predictable?

I don’t know how to explain how I felt in that moment.  Maybe a little stuck? Stupid? Boring? Probably all of those things, it was a jumble.  I started thinking of other places I could go for lunch that day.  Other places came to mind, but my compulsive nature had me thinking about, where would I park when I got there? Could I even find a shady spot? What would I order that I would like as much as my beef chalupa supreme and chili-cheese burrito?

I continued driving, all the while thinking that I would find something new to eat for lunch. Do you know how, when your driving, your mind can wander and you can have a whole conversation with yourself? That’s what I was doing.  I was having a complete mental debate. I was presenting opposing points of view with pros & cons. Was I in a rut, did I need to stay in a rut and is there anything wrong with being in a rut.  While my mind was involved in this battle of wits my muscle memory drove me right to Taco Bell and there I was in the drive thru when I realized that I didn’t even give myself a chance to choose something else.

So, I got my beef chalupa supreme and chili-cheese burrito, found a shady spot and watched part of my movie.  And it was great!

In the end, I decided it was OK to be in a rut.  I know that I won’t always eat fast food Mexican on Thursday afternoons.  This is a phase, much like every other compulsion I have in life. Eventually, my taste will change and I’ll move on to something else.  But for now, I’m going to enjoy my weekly lunch trip to my current favorite spot.

I’m not sure why I wanted to share this story.  I thought I would turn it in to a motivational tale about stepping outside your comfort zone and how trying new things can be good for you.  While that is true, it’s not always necessary. I think it’s important to expand your boundaries when it comes to people and relationships.  But, when it comes to the things I do just for me, I’m going to allow myself to be in a rut.  A rut has walls, it provides a way with fewer options and decisions to make. I’m OK with not having to make a decision on Thursday afternoons.  I’m going to continue to drive thru the same place, park in the same spot and watch a movie.  It’s comforting, and I like it so I’m going to embrace it.

I’m going to be thankful for my GPS and how it will get me on the quickest route to that drive thru every Thursday.  I’m in a food rut.  I think I’ll stay there for awhile.

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